Bulsha:- While in a relationship, it's easy for you stuck baper. Very reasonable, really. Humans are sentient beings, so you can baper. However, baper can be fatal in a relationship if you spice it up with expectations and assumptions.
When someone baper then affected the expectations and assumptions usually crave a deeper relationship. What he wants is certainly unrealistic and selfish. Then her partner forced to obey these expectations, although at first he did not like. He followed it for the sake of their partner happy or feels fine in the beginning.
Yeah, at first it was your own fun only. However, when expectations are not realistic it does not materialize, the couple who baper would assume that no is not about her partner. Then he will be disappointed when after a long-running relationship, their partner does not match his expectations and he demanded their partners to change for the sake of her happiness.
Here's what you should avoid. Expectations just blinded your judgment. You can not know the characters so real partner. You difficult grateful for the relationship that you have today. You choose him be your mate because you think he could be a tool to realize ekspektasimu. Nasty, is not it? And one who has baper and blinded expectations will not be difficult to communicate with the healthy. Therefore, remove baper attitude and ekpektasimu before starting a relationship. Because of this four precious thing will you get.
1. Empathy
Without expectations, you can explore the partner's feelings as it is. You will not lower his feelings when he showed vulnerability in front of you. When you are blinded expectations, you'll even ignore the pair and try to convert it to fit what you want.
Without baper and expectations, you will gain empathy. You can feel what the couple. When you are still blinded expectations, you will not see anything but selfish desires. When a couple is trying to communicate with you, you'll turn into a monster that ignores their needs and forces him to change.
2. Appreciation
A communication requires honesty, and you have to accept the honesty of the couple, it was bitter enough. Sure there are times when you offend your partner, and when couples express their feelings to you, you can understand what he feels and try to compromise with him. You'd be able to appreciate the honesty that is given to you mate. Imagine if you're already affected baper and expectations. You would not be able to accept criticism couples.
3. Can Understand Without Baper
You can not control the feelings of the couple. If you do not have expectations, you will be able to resolve all conflicts with controlled emotion when baper. You can look inward and see where the guilt is in conflict. You do not make your emotions become a burden to be borne by the couple.
Baper was not arrested, but can you handle and control. Do not let the cover baper common sense to think objectively in the relationship.
4. You Can Forgiveness and Letting
Baper people must be hard to forget the problems that occurred in the past. He will find every way to leverage what should have been passed into the conflict that exists today. He created resentment in the relationship, and then demanded her partner to do things unrealistic simply because she could not give up what had happened.
Of course you do not want this to happen to you, right? There is no point in holding grudges in the past due to lack of effective communication. And you will not be able to communicate effectively if common sense itself is controlled by kekanakanmu expectations. From now on, just live the relationship as it is. You do not require excessive expectations to get a happy relationship.
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Xafiiska Shabakada Bulsha
UK- Leicester united kingdom
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